I'm feeling really upbeat right now, well not really upbeat but happy. I don't feel like crying. I don't even feel anything like I felt yesterday. I do feel a little subdued, a bit melancholly but not like I want to die. The ache in my chest from this morning is gone.
When I was dry heaving this morning, I prayed. When I was getting dressed, I prayed. On my way to work, I prayed. And then this idea, so foreign, rushed on me like a wave of peace and understanding; I don't love him anymore. I don't miss him. I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad the negativity and lying and the anger and the hate and infidelity are gone!
I am going to make it through. Even through the loneliness, the hurt (that's sure to resurface again), the grief of losing my family. Those feelings are bubbling there, under the surface I'm sure. But right now, I can smile. Conversation about topics other than my cheating ex husband are easily had. I pray I feel this way tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment